


Welcome to Sheith Bot Theater

by midnightflame



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bot-inspired retellings, Friendship/Love, Humor, Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-08 03:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17379134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightflame/pseuds/midnightflame
Summary: You know those stories - the ones told by poor bots forced to watch hundreds of hours of a certain show type and then callously expected to spit out their renditions of them all for our amusement?Well, this is not that. But it is inspired by those retellings.So, I welcome you to Sheith Bot Theater. Where some of the greatest Sheith moments of Voltron are retold with a bot's perspective. By which I mean, that bot is me.





	1. SPACE SHOW (an overview)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome!
> 
> You may remember me for all the other Sheith stories I have put up on here. Well, this is not like any of those, and for that I'm. . .well, I'm not apologizing. Because I cried from laughing so hard making these. 
> 
> In case you aren't familiar, there's this thing where bots are _supposedly_ force-fed a diet of one television programming or another and then asked to come up with their own story. These are inspired by those retellings. Do they make sense? Not really. Do they occasionally hit on some great one-line notes about life? I think so. Are such things the pinnacle of humor now? Probably not. But they are pretty hilarious.
> 
> So, sit back, relax, and I hope you all laugh because I've never been so amused creating something in my life. 
> 
> (And as always, you can find me over on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ByMidnightFlame)!)

_Welcome to space. It is home of rocks and planets and booming voices. There is no love here. This man does not believe in love. Space took it from him. Now he has no arm. Because space said he could not have love._

SHIRTO:  
Keith why not be leader? Space took my love so I cannot be good. All my life is lost.

KEITH:  
Why you torment me? I am here. Don’t make me go there. The aliens are too purple.

SHIRTO:  
I too know how to purple because it took my love and now I have no arm but it is now a robot. I cannot touch you. 

KEITH:  
But I believe in you. Who believes in me. One day I believe too but not today. We have to fight.

SHIRTO:  
For the universe. And my arm. 

KEITH.  
You are so good, Shirno. How could we have been part for so long? Space sang lonely in my heart without you. 

SHIRTO:  
Space is dead to me. I am dead.

KEITH:  
Do not say that! You are like the sun burning my eyelids. I cannot look away. 

SHIRTO:  
Stop looking Keith it is too late. You must become leader. Do what I can’t. 

KEITH:  
Sheno. . .I love you.

SHIRTO:  
You cannot. Even if my heart is vomiting feelings for you. We has to go.

KEITH:  
Never! No one needs this world even if they live in it. 

SHIRTO:  
Come. The cats are calming and the sun is about to explode. All time will be purple if we do not stop this.

_Sunset looms in distance. A rainbow rides in on motorcycle._

KEITH:  
Anything you say pardner. This is love.

SHIRTO:  
Oh no. This is love. What is happen to me.


	2. LONELY DESERT

_This desert is lonely. No one lives here. Except Keith. He makes it lonely. The sunset cries in the distance._

SHIRTO:  
Keith. . .

_Shirto walks out of a sad shack. He wears tight shirt because there are no shirts for him in the dessert. Keith looks at him. His jaw falls off._

KEITH:  
Shirno, what happened out there

SHIRTO:  
Space happen. I don’t know. I ran until I crashed. I thought the fire would catch me but you save me.

KEITH:  
You are all I know. This desert is alone.

_Keith puts his hand on Shirto’s shoulder. It is cold. His heart is cold. Keith feels it breaks his bones._

SHIRTO:  
Why are you in desert?

KEITH:  
The space men threw me out. I punched a man. He died.

_Keith stares at the memory. It bleeds for him. Shirto sighs with his breasts. They are made of muscle and sadness. But no one can know._

SHIRTO:  
I wish I could remember. But Space ate my mind and my arm.

KEITH:  
It’s okay, Shirnto. I will punch space so hard it will buy you a new one. 

SHIRTO:  
Thanks, Keith. You make good leader. 

KEITH:  
Only you leader. I just want to stare with my arms folded and look at you.

SHIRTO:  
Ok. But we need to save the universe from the purple bad. 

KEITH:  
It’s less lonely now. 

_He stares lovingly at Shirto. In the darkness, a robot caws. It’s the froghopping lines Keith heard about._

SHIRTO:  
We must go.


	3. ANGRY PLANET

_Keith stands on death. His robot is dead. He could not save it. It does not listen to him. No one told him cats don’t listen. They are not dogs._

KEITH:   
Shiroto is missing. My heart pines and my voice calls but there is no answer. I am back to lonely again.

_Meanwhile elsewhere somewhere on angry planet, Shirto wakes up. His metal cat is also not listening because no one gave him the manual. He calculates like a math Midas. The numbers fly in his head. He knows he must listen to them and walk or he will lose his legs._

SHIRTO:   
Keith. Are you hearing me? Space kicked us out. We didn’t taste good for the worm.

KEITH:   
Shirto! You live! I thought the lonely was pounding my heart again. How are you?

_Shirto looks around him. There are large villain beasts trying to recycle his metal catride. But the ground tells them Shirto is ready to be eating. They chase him instead._

KEITH:   
Shinro are you okay? I hear badness on the line.

SHIRTO:   
I am not okay but I am okay. My side is bleeding purple. The witch cursed me. I am doomed. 

_Keith laughs. He is running and the air is removed his lungs which are burning magma. He cannot keep running. He will die. But he runs still. Because death is Shirto. He must get to Shirto because this planet is angry. It says he must die._

SHIRTO:   
Keith. There are badfangs trying to eat me. I think they hate rock for they keep digging at it. I will try to kick their hate but the rock is too strong.

_Keith smiles. He likes Shirto’s voice. The ground spits at him. No one allowed to feel good here._

KEITH:   
The ground is mad but I am going to jump over its gaping annal. 

SHIRTO:   
Be careful! You must become leader. Only death lives in my bones.

KEITH:   
You made me man and made my thoughts think. You cannot die. 

SHIRTO:   
You must not have thought if you remember that. Thanks for eulogy.

_Keith sees all the badfangers playing with rocks. It is not kitty litter though. Keith gasps and grabs his heart. It had slipped from his throat because Shirto is there. The planet says he must die. It is cycle of life. Keith sees the big black catride sleeping. He berates it by yelling. It is bad cat for sleeping on job. His words are his love but not for the cat. It is not his cat._

SHIRTO:   
You saved me. Now the sun is dying.

KEITH:   
So are you. But you are not. My love beats up death. You are not dying anymore.

_They both look to the sky. Another sunset weeps for them. And now it is the green catpurr here to eat them. They are saved by the Castle of Leaking._


End file.
